I really like this! But I want to be tough, and say, why not...
bronzed leaves slowly corrode soft autumn light
And because I like that word 'corrode' or even the original 'corroding' I wonder if you can give more space to the text so it is separate from the other info text.
Sorry to be a tartar, but I feel your work deserves separation from the mundane blog text of date time etc... that interferes, and runs into, your marvellous poetry.
4 comments:
Oooh, lovely!
I really like this! But I want to be tough, and say, why not...
bronzed leaves slowly corrode
soft autumn light
And because I like that word 'corrode' or even the original 'corroding' I wonder if you can give more space to the text so it is separate from the other info text.
Sorry to be a tartar, but I feel your work deserves separation from the mundane blog text of date time etc... that interferes, and runs into, your marvellous poetry.
.
corroding... very nice. :)
alan i agree 'corrode' is a stonger word than 'corroding', the suffix 'ing' has almost always a deadening effect.
Thanks
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